Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!

Well, obviously, I’m not a big guy. I’m not a Carl Weathers, par example. So maybe you could start jete-ing, and stop je-terrorizing me! Make love in your own hand, Mother!

Hey, maybe you could pop a tent outside with your cousin Maeby… it’d be a good chance to rub off on her. And don’t make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. I hate the Wetlands. They’re stupid and wet, and there are bugs everywhere, and I think I maced a crane. You’re losing blood, aren’t you? Gob: Probably, my socks are wet. Let me take off my assistant’s skirt and put on my Barbra-Streisand-in-The-Prince-of-Tides ass-masking therapist pantsuit.

There are very few intelligent, attractive and straight men in this town. Well, that certainly leaves me out. Let the great experiment begin! Gosh Mom… after all these years, God’s not going to take a call from you. Well, they got the Asian right… “hotties” might be a stretch. Hey, look at that – you’re mean sober, too. Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant. It just makes me want to set myself on fire. She calls it a mayonegg. Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?

Either I zip down, or he zips up, and that is a mighty long zipper on Mother’s Cher jumpsuit. OH MY GOD, WE’RE HAVING A FIRE… sale. Oh, the burning! ♪♪ Amaaaaaaziiiing Graaaace ♪♪

Can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it’s in a terrifying neighborhood? We have unlimited juice? This party is going to be off the hook. Hey, it was one night of wild passion! Michael: And yet you didn’t notice her body? Gob: I like to look in the mirror. Heart attack never stopped old Big Bear. I didn’t even know we were calling him Big Bear. We never had the chance to. It’s Sunday, but screw it — juice box time. The Man Inside Me seems well reviewed. Buster, what are you doing with mother’s rape horn? You boys know how to shovel coal?

I think I might have someone who’s going to circumvrent the law. She calls it a mayonegg. If that man’s straight, then I am sober. I am going to my spin class. I thought you had vertigo. In prison, you just have to close your eyes and take it, but here you have to close your eyes and give it. Say goodbye to THESE! If that man’s straight, then I am sober.

She tried pesto for the first time. Imagine that, 92 years old and she never tried pesto. He’s going to be all right. I mean, it’s one banana, Michael. What could it cost, ten dollars? Stop it, stop it. This objectification of women has to stop. Michael: It’s just Mom and whores.

And don’t make the water too hot. The scabs come right off. I didn’t get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so… onward and upward. On… Why, Tracy?! Why?!! Also, your knee is on my heart. You can control your bladder when you’re dead! She’s not that Mexican, Mom. She’s my Mexican. And she’s Columbian or something. O-kay, who’d like a banger in the mouth? Yes, he’s like the steel man from The Wizard From Oz.

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